My daughter got given a paper straw at The Splash Café. ‘Not plastic!’ I said, impressed. The owner (Neli) explained that she hated plastic because Durban harbour was full of it, and all the seals had disappeared.

She went on to say that she could not get eco-friendly containers for love nor money. I was rapidly finding out how much people cared, but how hard it was to find solutions. Eyes soon glazed over at the mention of landfill – it was too baffling, and life was too precious for impenetrable bureaucracy. 

Which makes me wonder why the f#~* I got myself into this?

So far I had succeeded in ringing the WWF (and other institutions) more times than I cared to remember, lumbering myself with a large phone bill and the paranoid feeling that WWF might have flagged me up as a weirdo.

There were ten tubes of Bonnie Bio cling wrap sitting in my kitchen.

A selection of eco-friendly samples from MW packaging, and a honey DNA Kit winging it’s way over from New York.

It was kind of like being on an episode of Ready Steady Cook where you get given random ingredients, and told to make dinner. Except I was on an imaginary equivalent called Ready Steady Eco (Thankfully with no film crew in attendance) surrounded by random eco-related products that I had no idea what to do with.

I was not a crazy person. There must be some blueprint to follow / professional support somewhere. I rang WWF, with a renewed sense of vigour.

They want me to give money. We do. Sign petitions. We do. Adopt an animal. We did. (Cuddly toy, tick.) Leave them something in my will? Hopefully not for a while.

I explain that I want to do more because the ideas I’d like to share, the questions I can’t find answers to. They implore me to email. Result: another generic reply that leaves me none the wiser, emojis I cannot compete with and the uncomfortable feeling that I am an outsider.

I was barking up the wrong tree, and I finally accepted it. 

All any of us have is our life. Our gift. Our moment. And if something is making you feel that bad, you should stop doing it. But rather than sinking into apathy, I thought of a quote.

‘Pessimism is what preserves the status quo and optimism is what brings us forward.’ Boyan Slat

I put the cling-film for sale at The Honeycomb Hub where they have a little eco corner. I get a weekly vegetable box, along with free range eggs – and we started sharing ideas and contacts. It feels amazing.

New objectives: Stop ringing WWF! Focus on what to do with the other eco-related products I had accumulated 😌